The Least Boring Parts of the Oscars

Dear Kristin,

Screenshot.  Anne Hathaway in a red Valentino posing beside an orange Valentino.

I stopped watching the Oscars midway through.  My video stream was on the fritz and, well, it wasn't really worth it.  Very blah.  Which was sad for me.  You know how I care, how I love and look forward to awards/presents.  These shows make me terribly nervous on behalf of those on stage, because they're so live, so capable of failing and falling.  I often have to mute my computer, leave the room, readjust the screen/sound so that I can't completely make out who, exactly, is on stage or what, exactly, they're saying. But such tactics are only used when embarrassment is inevitable, just around the river-bend.  Otherwise, I enjoy myself a great deal.  The actors and award recipients on stage are so giddy!  And so peopley.  They simply spew happiness. 

Still, I felt very little for/during this Oscars.  Neither giddy nor properly afraid.  And there were few dresses I truly cared for.  Only two that got me genuinely excited.  Here are a few I enjoyed, though they didn't make me spew happiness.  White sparkle:

Michelle Williams in Chanel Haute Couture, Hailee Steinfeld in custom Marchesa, Mandy Moore in Monique Lhuillier

Michelle's is a bit matronly (something about the sleeves, the untrying waist, the crew neck), Hailee's is very much an old word debutante, coming-out dress (fair), and Mandy's is very lovely and Mandy (fair).  I appreciated the illusion on hers, as well as the length and poof of Haillee's, and the subtly of Michelle's.  I did not love; I appreciated.  Although, damn:

Credit where credit is due.  A great beauty.  (Screenshot)

The Blues:

Anne onstage in Armani Prive (photo from HuffPost) and Amy all night long in L'Wren Scott.  

Amy's is Michelle's Chanel mated with Anne'e Armani, yes?  Yes.  She might just be the best of the three.

Berry!  Not quite love.  But not quite not not love either.  A crush.

Bright.  (A screenshot.)

Without further ado, here are the two that made me giddy:

Hi!  Annette Bening in Naeem Khan

Because she is giddy.  And has perhaps never looked so stunning.  And is in Naeem Khan.  And not just any Naeem Khan, Naeem Khan of the "Are You Shitting Me?" Fall 2011 collection.  And in one of my top looks.  And her smile!  And her emerald earrings!  And her man!

The whole package

I'm not sure I saw Annette spotlighted once during my limited Oscar viewing (red carpet and the show's first hour) and that's a shame because she looks spectacular and absolutely deserves to be seen and oogled.

Finally, my only Holy Cow of the evening.  Love at very first sight:

What an angle (screenshot).  She almost looks like an avatar, a Sims woman, unreal.

From the telecast:

To the point. (Screenshot.)

And the paparazzi picture:

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Couture.  Photo (and all other untagged photos) from NYMag

She was it for me.  She was the reason.  She made me grateful for this year's Oscars.

Love,
J. Benny

P.S.  It's best when it's fun.

She's having fun, nevermind the dress.